


what a tragic mess you fools have made of this

by caricature_of_intimacy



Series: I think I'll die obsessed [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:06:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caricature_of_intimacy/pseuds/caricature_of_intimacy
Summary: Robert and Aaron break up. In another lifetime, Robert and Aaron are together forever.





	what a tragic mess you fools have made of this

**Author's Note:**

> A bit angsty lol, have fun with this and thanks for reading! xx

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”

Aaron’s words are shards of glass in Robert’s heart, pushing deeper and deeper until lodging themselves somewhere inside the now empty space once meant for Aaron.

He clenches his eyes shut. Breathes in. Breathes out.

“Are you going to be okay?” Aaron asks softly.

Of course I’m not, Robert thinks.

“Of course I am,” he says, unconvincingly. 

Aaron’s smile is sad, regretful, his cheeks tear stained, and Robert knows that he means it.

Aaron will never stop loving him.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron whispers, and it takes everything Robert has to not break down sobbing against his husband.

Ex husband.

“Why are you sorry?” Robert asks, because all Aaron had done was love him, even during his worst times, and that wasn’t something he ever needed to be sorry for.

“I’m…” Aaron sighs, looks up at the ceiling, says, “I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work.”

All the guilt Robert feels, all the misery and grief, the longing to fix things, amplifies by a million. 

There is no ‘we’.

It isn’t Aaron’s fault they crashed and burned. 

Robert simply says, “I’m sorry, too.”

He hopes Aaron knows what it means, knows what he’s sorry for.

He hopes Aaron knows that Robert is apologizing for the affair, for killing Katie, for marrying Chrissie, for pushing Aaron away, for almost shooting him, for lying to him, for Rebecca, for the baby, for everything Robert’s ever put him through that led to this point.

Robert hopes Aaron knows.

“Some things aren't meant to be,” Aaron says, and it’s so full of dejection, and Robert can’t deal with this, hates himself for making Aaron feel anything but happiness.

“Just promise me, yeah?” Robert says, and it’s painful, it burns him from the inside out, but he needs to say it. “Promise me you’ll move on, find someone who can make you happy.”

And Aaron is crying again, shaking his head, rubbing the spot on his finger where, up until a few minutes ago, his wedding ring had sat.

“Why do I have to be the one to move on?” He says desperately, almost as if he’s suddenly willing to fight for them, but Robert knows it’s wishful thinking.

He shuffles closer to Aaron, places a hand on his cheek, wipes his tears, tries to convince him to do the one thing Robert so badly wishes he wouldn’t: let them go.

“Because you’re stronger than I am.” He thinks can see every emotion in Aaron’s eyes, wonders if the same emotions are reflected in his own. “Because I’ll always lo-” 

Robert cuts himself off. He can’t say it, not now, the weight of those words too much for him to carry. 

He brushes his thumb over Aaron’s cheek, presses their foreheads together, says, “You know.”

A moment.

“I know.”

And that’s enough.

They’re so close Aaron’s breath ghosts across Robert’s lips, and it’s the last time they’ll ever be this close, and Robert takes in as much of it as he can, tries to memorize the way it makes him feel before he loses it for good.

Aaron presses forward and kisses him softly.

The kiss is not heated. It’s one of comfort. One of understanding. One of "I forgive you” and “I’ll miss you”. Of broken hearts trying to mend. Of love.

It is just a fragment of a lifetime, it is every single eternity in existence. 

And then, just like that, it's over.

Robert walks away from Aaron one final time, the burden of loss heavy on his shoulders.

  
  
  
  
  


“For what it’s worth, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”

Their hands find each other in the dark, fingers tangling, and Robert feels Aaron’s words in his heart, warm and full of promise.

It’s worth more than Aaron knows, worth absolutely everything.

“This is real?” Robert asks, almost not daring to believe it.

He hadn’t thought Aaron would ever forgive him for everything with Rebecca, didn’t think he could still love him after everything Robert had done.

But here they are, sitting outside the Woolpack, so close their breaths are mingling and Robert has goosebumps where Aaron’s arm is pressed against his, and Aaron’s telling him he wants to be with him, that he forgives him, and Robert knows he means it.

Aaron will never stop loving him.

“This is real,” Aaron confirms, smiles, and everything is okay again.

All the love Robert feels, all the strength and happiness, the promise to be better, amplifies by a million. 

It’s real. 

Robert says, “I’m sorry.”

He hopes Aaron knows what it means, knows what he’s sorry for.

He hopes Aaron knows that Robert is apologizing for the affair, for killing Katie, for marrying Chrissie, for pushing Aaron away, for almost shooting him, for lying to him, for Rebecca, for the baby, for everything Robert’s ever put him through that led to the point where they were seconds away from crashing and burning.

Robert hopes Aaron knows.

Aaron doesn’t respond, just closes his eyes and presses his forehead to Robert’s, breathes him in, solidifies the eternity between them.

“Just promise me, yeah?” Robert says, he doesn’t know why, but he says it. “Promise me that we’ll never give up on each other, not for anything.”

And Aaron is nodding, hands clutching Robert’s arms, and he feels the cool press of Aaron’s wedding ring against his skin.

“I will never stop fighting for you, Robert,” He says desperately, and Robert thinks their love is a tangible thing, thinks that if someone reached into the space between them, they would feel it, bright and renewed.

He places a hand on Aaron’s cheek, soft and steadying. 

“I will never stop trying to be better for you.” Robert sees the impact of his words in Aaron’s eyes, knows how much this means to both of them. “I’ll always love you.”

And Robert has never been very good at sticking to his word, but this time, he’s making promises that he knows he’s going to keep.

He brushes his thumb over Aaron’s cheek, smiles softly, and says, “You know.”

A moment.

“I know.”

And that’s more than enough.

They’re so close Aaron’s breath ghosts across Robert’s lips, and they have all the time in the world, because neither of them are going anywhere, and Robert memorizes the way it makes him feel before the moment passes.

Aaron presses forward and kisses him softly.

It’s not a heated kiss. It’s one of content. One that says more than words can. One of “I forgive you” and “I’m yours”. Of two hearts mending together. Of love.

It is a fragment of a lifetime, it is every single eternity in existence. 

They part, and Robert thinks, this is real.

He wraps his arms tightly around Aaron and decides he’s never letting him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: androgynouspoetrycollector


End file.
